The Dailey Edge Podcast
Join hosts Trent, TJ, and Todd Dailey as they explore the intersections of technology, culture, fitness, and personal growth. Through engaging discussions and personal anecdotes, the trio dives into topics ranging from childhood gaming nostalgia and cutting-edge fitness tech to the pursuit of happiness and lifestyle choices. Whether reminiscing about epic gaming marathons, sharing tips for staying on the forefront of fitness trends, or unraveling the complexities of modern life, The Dailey Edge delivers thoughtful insights, lively debates, and relatable stories for listeners of all walks of life.
The Dailey Edge Podcast
Episode 53: Where’s Waldo And Who’s Mad About It
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An 11-year-old runs a half marathon world record and instead of applause, a wave of adults rush in with panic, suspicion, and hot takes. We start with the Indy Mini Marathon and the lighter side of race day, including Todd cruising a 1:26 dressed as Where’s Waldo, but we quickly get into the bigger question: why do we struggle to celebrate someone else’s win without adding a dark story we cannot prove?
We talk about what actually happened, what the training reality looks like, and why “concern” can sometimes be jealousy or a need to feel right. Along the way, we get nerdy about running performance too: pacing that sneaks up on you when you “aren’t competing,” fueling that helps you keep rolling, and how certain shoes and a more engaged stride can change your speed more than you expect.
From there, we zoom out to youth sports and parenting. We get honest about travel soccer schedules, tiers of teams, what commitment really means, and how families balance practices, meets, school nights, and weekends that disappear into car rides. Our main takeaway is simple but hard: assume positive intent, trust your kid, set clear expectations, and be the adult who encourages the child instead of judging the parents from a distance. If this hit a nerve, subscribe, share it with another sports parent, and leave a review. What’s a moment you’ve seen adults handle a kid’s success the wrong way?
Welcome And Indy Mini Setup
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to the Daily Edge. As always, here with my brothers TJ and Todd Daily. We're going to continue the trend. We've been talking a lot about racing. Um, and we just recently ran the mini marathon several weeks ago. Um, quite an experience, some several stories there, but also a really neat story where a kid broke the world record there. So um, I'm gonna kick it over to Todd, talk a little bit about his
Why Todd Runs As Waldo
SPEAKER_02experience. Um, I'll go ahead and share. You uh have done this for several. Well, at least I've seen you do it twice. Is that has it been twice? Where when he's not really trying to achieve a certain goal, he dresses up as Waldo. And the first time he did it, I was with him and actually ran with him that race. And I think we ran maybe like a 133 or 134 half. And the looks on these people's faces as Todd was running by them in jeans and the comments he was getting was unbelievable. This race, uh, you ran a 126, which um I was not fast enough to witness it this time. But uh tell us a little bit about uh Waldo and that and that experience on the course.
SPEAKER_01Uh it's always fun. It's always fun. You know, I've done a lot of races over the years where I've taken myself pretty seriously and I try and get time. And having just uh done well in Boston, it just it was a little colder than I like. If you know me, you know I do not like to run in the cold. So when the forecast was upper 30s at the start, uh I thought it'd be a good day to just enjoy uh that and um and bring some joy to the people and again not take myself too seriously. It was it was really a lot of fun. Um that that's a race that I do uh most years, and really for no reason other than I just really enjoy it. And um I haven't seen the picture yet of me in the crowd. I've seen a couple pictures of the crowd at the start, but I was near the front of the corral. So I'm still looking if anyone has that picture of the corral that that includes the A and the B corral. I'd love to kind of see the Where's Waldo like true image. Uh, I haven't seen that one. Um, but yeah, it was it was a fun time. I would say uh with jeans anymore, they're a little stretchier than they were back in the day. So uh I think is it uh Angel? Angel runs in uh jeans. It's it's not as bad as you would think. I know a lot of people are like, oh my gosh, running in jeans, and I had a little satchel and uh the hold the hat and the whole nine. Um it was fun, it was fun interacting with people, the the comments and the support and the cheering and the fans. You get honestly, I got more energy in than uh I probably gave up um with the costume. But it was it was a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_00What is it like? I mean, like what are this? Was the 50th? This is a big one. Big one. Um, I did not run it. Um, but what are some of the comments that you I mean, is it just like, ah, Waldo? Like what what?
SPEAKER_01There's a lot of that. There's um, you know, there were a few people that you run into or you're running by on the race and are just, you know, they'll make some comments about the genes. A lot of people at the aid stations are really excited. Go, Waldo, yeah, you know, because a lot of the people that are working those aid stations are kind of our generation and they grew up, you know, there was a lot of that. Uh, and I don't even know if they still make those books. Do they still make those books?
SPEAKER_00Is that I that's a good question. I don't think they were great.
SPEAKER_01A lot of people recognizing it. And um, yeah, I I would say that's that is generally it. You have people commenting on the the outfit and and running in that sort of uh uh attire.
SPEAKER_02Was anyone mad? Like, were they like because I mean you're running 635s or 630s, like you're you're moving, so like someone out there just pouring their heart out, trying to break 130, and you're just kind of bouncing by. Was there anybody that was irritated that you know?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I mean, there may have been, uh, but they didn't say anything to me. They didn't indicate that. There were some comments that were less uh encouraging than others, but nothing that would would have suggested like you know, people were angry with me.
SPEAKER_00Did you see the caterpillar guys out there at all? Did you guys see them?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, the five guys together. Uh I did. I saw them um, but I didn't not while I was running. I forget if we I think I saw them before the race.
SPEAKER_00They broke the world record um for the team costume. And I actually it was crazy. I got a call earlier that week from um one of the guys, and he's like, Hey, Mount to Coast is sponsoring this, uh, but one of our guys is sick. We need a new pair of shoes. Do you have the size? And I have now the size they needed in my garage. Um, so happy to contribute to that. So jumping from you saying you probably got more energy in than you put out to somebody who left it all out there not wanting to put that much energy forth.
Trying To Take It Easy Fails
SPEAKER_00Uh, how was your experience?
SPEAKER_02Um going into it, I was just like, I'm just gonna kind of take it easy and you know, I'm gonna enjoy the day. And I found out one thing, which is I'm not really good at not competing. Um, and my buddy Phil Dodick, that I was running with, you know, generally it's like, okay, I don't know who's in better shape. I don't know what he's been running, I don't get on Strava very often. And I'm like, I'll just go whatever pace worked for him. Um, and so Phil was uh, I get there and we start talking, and he was like, Yeah, he's like, I'm I've been running 80 to 90 miles a week. Like I'm in really good shape. I'll do whatever you want to. And I'm like, okay, well, um, let's let's see what we got. And and so then, you know, you don't go out too hard. I think our first mile was like 745. My first time in the R3 Pumas.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, which you guys had talked about. And uh there's one thing, and I'll be interested in your take on this, but I've always been a back outside heel runner, and that may sound crazy to you, but you guys should look at your shoes and see where your like hit points and where you wear on, but I would always wear these outside. I made a really specific um like mental note to stay on the balls of my feet and just kind of make keep sit to stay. So we went 745, 715, and I I probably haven't run anything under, you know, I I normally run in the nine to nine and a halves, and like me and some guys would go out and do maybe uh we did like a 10 miler and I maybe did it like an 815, but I haven't run under eight minutes in forever, right? Like anything competitive. So we just uh between that, I had a couple of gels, the fuel, the weather. Um, we just kind of got going and we ended up, you know, between 655 and 705, and uh we just kept rolling. And and you know, the that's a really interesting race because generally, you know, you're settling in the first three or four, next thing you know, you're on the track, track's pretty cool. You get off the track, and then we call it that dark zone. You get off the track, it's like 8.75 miles, and then it clicks to nine, and from nine to eleven, it's just like terrible, it's eternity. Um, you know, when Phil looked over me at like 10 or 10 and a half, he's like, the next couple miles are all mental. It's all mental. And then so you just kind of keep the same cadence, right? And then you get to the very end and go. So exceeded all expectations. It was a beautiful day. I didn't have any business running a whatever it was, like a 133. Um, but it's just fun to compete.
SPEAKER_00So well, I don't know if you can run on the back outside of your heels in those shoes because they won't have a heel.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there, you know, there's something that I've been focusing on, especially in those supernovas. Is that what I'm super blasts? Yeah, the super blasts. It's like you said you can't be lazy in these shoes. And what I've come to realize is like I've got to consciously think about staying on the balls of my feet. Yeah, yeah. And when I stay up, if you've noticed in any of my current runs, I'm running eight-minute pace and I'm doing it in I'm using a little more effort, but when I just kind of like settle and I kind of fall back and I don't stay up on them, I'm running 930s, 945s. And it's not that much of a difference. Right. And I've never run on the balls of my feet, and so it's crazy to think about I've kind of unlocked this. If I can train myself and train those muscles on the balls of my feet, I may have a higher top end or be able to do some things that I didn't think was possible.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I totally because I've never done that.
SPEAKER_02And I remember when you kind of transitioned and like, but even in the uh I did in a I think a 10 yesterday, and it was like I've had I've got to remind myself to stay on it. But once I do, um if I can make that my normal stride, I think I can I can probably pick up a little bit. So long, long story. It was a great race. Uh, Phil, incredible, um, motivational partner. Uh, we we had a great time, and it's kind of getting me ready for the Mo.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, you know, what a race. Um, Phil is off the charts right now looking and seeing those 70, 80, 90 mile weeks. Uh, you know, he had a fantastic run out in North Carolina, uh, or a great hundred, you know, at least from his perspective. He he felt fantastic there. So it's been really fun to watch that. And he is uh ready to unlock some big things. We always talk about him and his sleep. He can sleep at the drop of a dime. Constant, you know, and to the point where we've actually thought he was narcoleptic because he'll fall asleep mid-conversation. But if you want to talk about a superpower to have at the Backyard Ultra in September, that'll be it. So, like one of the things, and I think this is where we'll we'll go deep in this conversation, and we we don't we want to acknowledge
U11 World Record And Backlash
SPEAKER_00the fact that Todd had to leave. We don't do podcasts without the three of us, but um we wanted to get his perspective very quickly on the race itself, and then Trent and I all kind of close this one out from here. There was a kid, uh Ben, yeah, Ben Dick, and then Brad is his dad, um, who broke the world record U11 for the half marathon. I think he ran something like 120, which um is flying. Um, you're talking like six tens, I think, from a pace perspective, somewhere right there, maybe a little lower than that, maybe 608, something, but very, very fast for an 11-year-old. And um, this obviously was celebrated by many, but this also generated a ton of criticism. And I'd love to spend kind of the rest of this exploring this uh as it relates to human tendency to do these things and where these perspectives have come from. And perspectives I mean criticisms of children or parents or whatever. So when this happened, I was blown away. And uh anytime something like that happens, and I've seen this happen numerous times, as I'm sure you probably have in other sports that your kids participate in, where you'll mention an accomplishment to another parent, and their initial visceral reaction is, oh, I don't, I hope they don't hurt that kid, or or I hope that that you know they don't burn him out, or you know, gosh, I bet they're forcing him to do this, that, and the other thing. So um having a daughter who's done some pretty unusual things in the running world, um, I haven't faced any of that head on, but I know it's there because it's just always there. Uh and so what I did was I had a buddy who uh so this U11 world record received quite a bit of attention. It was flow, like it was all over Instagram, it was all over the news, it was all over this, that and the other thing. Funny enough, if you watch the news coverage, Waldo appears right there in the background. So if you go look this up online and you find the local Indiana WTHR, I think it was, news coverage, you'll see a Waldo uh at the end, right there at the finish. Um, but anyways, so this got a lot of coverage, and I noticed a buddy of mine, uh, shout out Robert Jackson, um, on Instagram, like vehemently defending this kid. Like anytime anybody would say, like, this is detrimental or this is whatever, whatever, this is too much. Like, Robert was just, uh, this is cope, you know, going after people. So I hit him up. I was like, yo, RJ, you know, I want to have a deeper discussion with my brothers about this kid. Can you give me more insight? And he's like, Yeah, you know, he trains with us doing so. Robert's part of uh personal best training, Matt Eversall's crew. Um, and Robert's one of kind of his elite athletes, and he's very, very close with Matt. And they have workouts typically Tuesday nights, I think, down somewhere North Central-ish at the track. And then they also work out Saturdays at Eagle Creek. And Robert had said that this kid had done some shorter workouts with them, but that he was friends with his dad. And uh, so he reached out to his dad and I said, Well, and I I've got his dad's contact information. I just haven't had time yet um to really sit down and have an in-depth conversation. Although I did run into Ben at a soccer tournament like two weeks ago. Um, I couldn't find his dad into the plane. No, he was running uh strides, like along a soccer field, just kind of having fun. So I asked Robert, I said, Well, you know, what does he do? What is his what does it look like? Because I want to like factually defend this kid. And and uh, how many miles do you think he runs a week?
SPEAKER_02Oh boy, I'm gonna say in the 40 to 50 range.
SPEAKER_0015 exactly. And I think what I want to highlight is that just like in any sport, um and and maybe this is where this can diverge into some different sports because you've had exposure to kids like this. Uh I have another friend whose daughter is a phenom on the track. Um, she is my daughter's age and um is beating her, you know, um by I mean, Kay runs uh 550, 555 mile, and this girl runs a 515, same age. Um, and again, my assumption was oh, they're just loading her mileage up when in all reality she's the same mileage. He's yeah, her dad's like, yeah, she's not running more than 15 miles a week till she's in eighth grade. I'm not gonna let it happen. Uh, and I think you're seeing that, and so I wonder why. Um or maybe it's not that. Like, where do you think the perspective comes from when we see a phenom, no matter what sport it is, that they always have this overbearing parent who's forcing them to do this crazy amount of work? Like, where do you think that comes from? And why do we react that way?
SPEAKER_02Well, I I would never react that way. I frankly don't having four of my own kids, don't think you can get a kid to do anything that they don't want to do, anyways. Maybe, I mean, there's the Tiger Woods of the world, you know, where his dad was somewhat, I guess, abusive from a you gotta do this all the
Why We Assume Bad Parenting
SPEAKER_02time standpoint. So as a person, I would never assume that, oh, he broke the world record, his dad's making him run 50 miles a week, and this is dad induced to me. The first thing I would personally think is that he loves it. It's it's hit like a lot of the times a kid can't chase a dream or a kid is chasing their dream and not their parents' dream. Now, can parents get wrapped up in that? Yeah, absolutely. I think it it's a it's says a lot about the person making the comment, is where I would leave it because someone that immediately goes to that is probably goes to the negative thought on just about anything. It's probably more than just that, right? And I don't necessarily live in as a competitive as a world as you do. So like people around here, I mean, they commit to sports, but not quite to the level of intensity. Um, maybe some of it's jealousy, but trying to justify, but like, why do you care? I think at the end of the day, that's one thing that drives me crazy. It's like, why do you care? Like, good for him, but why would you come in and negatively attacked and whether his parents were doing it or were not, what's at your point to even say anything?
SPEAKER_00I wonder why we always default to like uh I mean it's a great point, like default to that it just can't be. Like we disregard people that are phenoms at things. Like, like, you know, this has to be this has to be the result of again, Earl Woods or Todd Marinovich's dad or Andre Agassiz's dad. I mean, those are the three stories that stick out where like the dad was a psychopath.
SPEAKER_02But like, other than that, we've seen And I mean, you know, the kids that the parents that have psychopath dads. I mean, that run around at you know, sporting events and like yell and scream and are all I mean, like you can if you're around them enough to know, you're gonna understand if this is self-driven or parent-driven. Yeah, and if you don't know that, you have no room to comment on it. Like, you don't know what's going on in their lives or what like Kay running 50 miles at Prairie. I was out there with her. That was 100% Ka. You've never once pushed Kay to run that many miles. She was inspired, she was inspiring others. That was a hundred percent. And anyone else that says anything different about it is stupid because they don't know the situation. You can't comment on things that you're not close enough to. People want you to give an opinion or they have an opinion and they never know all the facts. And that's like one of the things I'm going through right now in leadership is like they want me to sit down and they're like, okay, hey, I need you to give me an opinion, like, rate this stuff one to five, and I look at everything on the list, and I'm like, I've got a dozen questions on each one of these before I feel informed enough to actually answer one question. And so if you see someone do something great or someone's asking you for an opinion on something, the first thing you should be thinking about is what information do I need to actually make an educated opinion on it if you're gonna give one? Because people don't care. It is it's the whole social media phenomenon, right? Oh, I'm just like, oh, that you know, the parents are probably beating them and forcing them to do all these miles. And oh, I'm I'm like, Yeah, but you don't know that. Yeah, like arguing with my eight-year-old, you know, he just makes stuff up and says, Dad, this is what it is. I'm like, here, you have no idea what you're talking about. And then he goes, because he doesn't. That's the same thing.
SPEAKER_00It's wild. What what do we feel? Why do we feel like you know I wonder this too about um you said something, and I think that the biggest potential detriment to any human child or parent alike is the mental side of it, right? That's where you know it's crazy to me is that we look at kids and yes, they're growing, yes, they're developing, yes, whatever. But a lot of times you'll see a every time a kid falls down, we're like get up, walk it off. Because their bones are very flexible at that age, they're very malleable, their joints, they're like tendons, everything is like rubber bands. You see an adult fall, like the reaction is like, I hope they didn't break a hip.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And it's and it's a legitimate reaction because you know, 60 years old, you fall and break a hip, that's the start of a decline potentially. Um, yet at the same time, we we I think not we, but like there's a generation, I think it's actually gotten better. I think it was worse, where we believe that there's some magical level of physical load that's gonna break somebody if they hit this like number. You know, you said without without uh uh uh hesitation, 40 or 50 miles for this kid. Well, coincidentally, Jakob Ingerbitz, when he was 12, was running 40 or 50 miles a week. He's the best runner in the world. I mean, yes, he's been hurt recently, but like for the better part of 14 years, he wasn't hurt. Um and it's crazy to me that there is this assumption that there is a ceiling on, you know, like, oh God, they're you know, all of a sudden you're a slave driver if, like you said, maybe it's this positive feedback loop, right? If your kid's really, really good at something, and then they're like, oh, everybody gives me attention and I like this, and you know, you're helping them stay grounded and and not put all of their identity in whatever it is, but they really want to keep doing it, doing it, doing it. Uh where do we where do you think we get these ideas that that there's some magical threshold? Is it is it a jealousy thing?
SPEAKER_02Is it a I think people just like to hear themselves talk. I mean, like, honestly, like it's fascinating to think is there is what is the limitation or the right amount of anything?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, right?
SPEAKER_02We sit in here and we talk about the right amount of screen time, the right amount of exercise, the right amount of like you've learned that if you run 60 to 70 miles a week, you don't gain weight. You figured out the right amount, people will tell you that's crazy, you're not gonna be able to walk by the time you're 60, and you know, you have 150,000 miles on your body. Like there's just like everyone has an opinion of what the right thing is, yet nobody there there is no right answer. Think about work. I realize this a lot lately. And work most people spend a lot of time doing tactical things, right? Like the majority of people spend all their time doing tactical things. I don't do any tactical things anymore. And it might look like I'm not doing anything. I'm doing all strategic stuff, and it's very thought-provoking, deep stuff, and I leave all this space so I can have these deep when I walk into a conversation, this is deep, engaging conversation on the topic with no distractions, and I can operate at a level above what most people can in those situations because I'm not jumping from meeting to meeting and bouncing around like I am you know, the so is that right or wrong? Like, well, some if you're saying, well, we were talking about this, me and Todd, where progress and purpose, and every waking moment, he wants to be focused on purpose and progress. And that's where we get our most joy, is when we're doing something and we're progressing and building and we're doing it within our purpose. And like, well, what does that mean? Well, for him, it means doing a lot and a lot of things. For me, I've found some of the going down and tucking my daughter in and spending 15 minutes and just listening and laughing. Yeah. And like there's these aha moments from the peace and not having the noise. So there's this like there's no right balance to anything. There's nobody that should be, I mean, obviously a doctor can tell you, well, you know, if you eat these things and whatever, or but like, oh, you're high cholesterol, or this is good or this is bad. And there's certain trigger levels for certain things like that, but I'm not sure anyone has the right to comment on any of it, frankly. I think you could disprove it in a lot of, and again, there's benchmarks, there's standards that unified standards of things that people agree on with like substances and like alcohol. I mean, there's things, right? So there's I'm talking, I don't want to get outside the guardrails. There's obviously some guardrails here, but in this middle here, I don't, I don't think anyone has the right to say what's good for you and what's bad for you. And as a parent, your job is to coach your kids and what they love. My daughter, Hadley, is an avid soccer player and has been for six years and loves soccer. The last month of her life has been all drama club. She's playing, she played Anna and Frozen Jr. and she was amazing. And her sister Eden played the queen, and she was amazing. And she, I've seen her more excited about drama than about soccer for the last month. And she missed a lot of practices and games. And I could have been like, oh, she's getting behind and like she's got to put in the work and do this. And I'm like, dude, she's loving this. I'm like, you need to be all in until this show. This is what she's passionate about. Follow your kids' passion and let them lead the charge and just get behind
Youth Sports Commitment And Boundaries
SPEAKER_02them.
SPEAKER_00How do we unwind it? Like, is it even possible? Or is it just by setting an example for other parents? Because I I feel your pain. Um, you know, uh, again, like, you know, Caitlyn's passion is running, and but she also plays travel soccer, and it has put her in a position where she was like Hadley, where she's missing practices pretty regularly. You know, she has a game on this upcoming Tuesday. Well, it's 7:30 p.m. in Pendleton and County's the next day. She's like that about going. There's no way. I don't want to be up till 10 o'clock at night the day before the most important meet of the year for me. But then you've got parents.
SPEAKER_02And that's it, you should 100% be on board for that.
SPEAKER_00And then I have uh had a parent like three weeks ago. And and kudos to this guy, love him. Um, but he comes up to me at the end of a game or at halftime of a game. He says, I need to talk to you. And I said, Okay. And he said, I need to apologize. I'm thinking to myself, for what? He's like, I've been harboring resentment against you because his daughter um has really, really taken to soccer. She loves it. She's doing five stars, she's doing sagility. Well, she's doing five stars, she's going to every practice, every Mario, all of the things. And he obviously wants to see her team succeed. Um, and he looks, and my daughter, amongst a couple others, are missing practices and not missing a ton of games, one here, one there. Um, and he's like, I understand what you're doing as a parent is really difficult, and I know it's hard. You know, obviously, I want the best for my daughter and her experience with her team. I just wanted to apologize to you because I've been feeling that way and I want to get it off my chest, which I thought was really big of him. Wow. Um, but I know there's there's another parent who uh it's take I've I've been calm. But at any opportunity. And here's the the uh the the funny thing. His daughter plays, she's she's a swimmer. Swimming only affects the winner, competitive swimming, really, right? And so, as we know, winner is down season in soccer, like it doesn't matter as much, you're not playing games, it's whatever. So she's missing a ton of practices in winter, but at every opportunity this spring to say something about people not practicing, oh, I just think it's a waste of time. We have to spend our 20 of our 30 minutes warming up to the game because other people don't show up to practice, or and it's just mind-blowing to me. Um, two different, very, very different, but like like relax, you know. Um, is it just setting a good example for these people? Are there talk tracks?
SPEAKER_02Is it you know, I mean, we can you this is an interesting topic because I serve on the local um travel soccer program board, and there is a level of commitment and expectation um from players when you get in those big organizations and you got unlimited players. Uh, there should be clear expectations set by the coach, not by the parents, of what expectations are. And your child and you have to select whichever team that you feel like you can commit to or want to from a prioritization standpoint. What I do hate is that like a kid feels limited because they're not willing to like do this year round and like, dude, like chill out. But if you're on a regional team per se, sure, not just an ISL team, and you're up here because you're that good, and that requires a full-time commitment, make that clear. But if you're playing on an ISL team, let's be honest. It's like the you got ECNL, you got regional, even if you're on one or two of ISL, like, look, you're not playing high school soccer in Hamilton County. Sorry, sorry, period. Like, that's the reality of it. And so that's okay. But like, I I I get it. It's a it's a struggle because we're dealing with that. We have a small club, we have a limited amount of kids, we want everyone to come to everything. But like, they just scheduled two soccer games on Memorial Day weekend. Yeah, we have one on Sunday, Sunday and Monday. We're a lake family, yeah. Like, right now I've got it selected that we're not gonna be there. Yeah, like that's we have limited time together as a family and and on the lake, and like it's super important to us, and we love soccer and we want to commit. My daughter just drove two and a half hours to a game. They're playing in Terre Haute. Whoa. Today.
SPEAKER_00That's deep.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So like it's not gonna be today when you guys see this. But like my point is is there's a level of commitment and expectation, but you can't let these things run your life. And you can't let one sport run your life. You've got to let the kid. I mean, there's times where they're gonna have burnout and be potentially on the side of being injured, and the kid knows. And it's like, yeah, there's times to tell them to just shut up and go to practice and push through it, but there's also times to realize that like it's not the end of the world. You don't need to have FOMO and you need to relax. But I do believe in what you're saying. There is a level of commitment that should be explained by the institution prior to.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think that I think you're right. Like talking about tiers of teams, she out, she plays on the second team and and which is the fourth team. Huh?
SPEAKER_02Or the th the fourth team, all if you talk about ECNL, regional, ISL one, ISL two. Yeah, it's the fourth team in the scheme of it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I yeah. Well, I mean, and here's what's crazy. So last fall they were in too high of a division on ISL and they lost every game. I think they scored a goal, and so they got dropped to tier seven, and they've won every game by five, you know, four or five goals in every in the tournament they played in or whatever, because they're because they dropped them too much. But, you know, it's like you would you would hope that the administration, again, you guys are different. We we could put 17 girls or 15 girls on a nine 9v9, and we don't. We put 12, and then all of a sudden the pressure becomes really real. Because if if a girl's sick and two girls have other things, you're playing, you know, you're pulling from other teams and doing this, that, and the other thing. And I do think, you know, the top teams, even the like you said, number one in ISL, yeah, I get it. It's different. But yeah, I heard something the other day that's nuts and will drive people crazy because this again kind of speaks to different levels of talent. So I didn't put two and two together, but do you remember we went to school with a Megan Tippner? For sure. So her cousin, I believe, is Matt, who was like Dan Davidson's age. So four or five years. His daughter's Meredith Tippner, um, who was uh who plays basketball for Miami University, not Ohio.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00And she played for Noblesville. Uh she started varsity soccer and basketball.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00And she was miss uh Hoosier, Indiana for soccer. She only played soccer during high school season.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. There there is this unrealistic. Here's the thing. Hallie hasn't played soccer basically in a week and a half. She's playing on a U19 team. She's 14 years old. She's an eighth grader, so she's playing against seniors, juniors. And I just got a text message, they're up 3-0, and she's got all three goals. And she hasn't touched a soccer ball, arguably in a week and a half. Yeah. Like, listen, should your kids participate in the sports that they are assigned or like they've signed up for? Like, we're we're obsessive, probably to a point of like, listen, you're not sitting at home missing nothing, right? Like, we're not talking about skipping practices for the point of skipping practices, but like it's important. You make a commitment, you should live out your commitment, but there are reasons to miss things based on importance, and those have to be heavily weighted by what your kid feels is important. We're not missing it to go play Pokemon, right? You're like her and this big race that she has, sh she's a hundred percent right. She can miss a stinking soccer game, right? Like it's not that big a deal. So everyone is looking through life a little bit different through a little different lens. Everyone should somewhat mind their own business and run their families the best they can. If someone's being egregious and they need to be talked to because they're grossly underparticipating, whole nother conversation. But arguably, I think you need to go into it with the intent that most parents you have to have, you have to give grace and you got to assume positive intent. Assume positive intent because most parents are doing the best they can. I mean, Isaiah's missed stuff because we couldn't get to everything, and he's missed a practice because Roman had a golf match out of town and Hadley had a soccer match out of town, and we just couldn't physically get him there.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Happens.
SPEAKER_00I I like what you're saying about the kids kind of know, even with Miles, it's like he won't miss a practice to miss a practice. But if I can tell that it's like we're teetering on the edge of just because he's normally pretty excited to go. Um, but if we're teetering on the edge and he's already practiced three hours that week, it's like, okay, it's it's all good, dude.
SPEAKER_02You know, I remember you saying you give him like every now and then you give him like Friday off. Like it's like, is it really gonna matter?
SPEAKER_00Well, I mean, I I just thought it was so strange that the number one high school, because you know, you do have kids. I don't know how prevalent it is in Indiana. I've definitely you definitely hear about it more in other states where the top players aren't playing high school. I mean, I know it's a thing, yeah. I but I wouldn't imagine that I try to think of it economically. Because like if you're a girl and you want to go play ECNL or you want to go play uh MLS next, like what's the end game? You're not gonna make a living off of it because you can barely make a living as I mean, you just it's not likely. Um, and so I I would imagine most of the top girls still play high school soccer. Um, and to have the number one girl in the state of Indiana only play during high school season and not touch a ball in the offseason, not play year-round is
Intrinsic Motivation Versus Parent Pressure
SPEAKER_00is telling. And I think it should reinforce that yes, we can affect a little bit in terms of like the level our kid can get to if we want to foster their self-belief and their confidence in themselves and their levels to achieve, but some of that's predetermined, some of that you can't like you know, I could run as hard as I would never have been Noah Lyles. I could have been like it just you can't.
SPEAKER_02I don't think you can help your kids build good habits, and I believe in that, but you are never gonna make a kid do something long-term and actually fall in love with it. At some point in time, they're gonna be like, I'll never forget. I had a I had a mentor that um 20 years ahead of me, and he was telling me a story and he said, I used to go out with my son and throw the baseball every night. I love baseball, throw it every night. And we did it, and we'd played baseball all the way through high school. When he got to high school, and I asked him, I said, Do you even like the sport? Kind of put his head down and he's like, Not really. I just I know how much you like it, so I do it for you. And I mean, like, arguably was I mean years and years of but didn't take the time to understand. And like he told me that story, and I'm like, man, that's powerful. Because I think sometimes we do drive stuff. So my point in all that is is like you can drive your kid to do whatever you want to, and at some point in time when you stop the driver, you stop to ask them what they want, there's gonna be times where you're like like we're talking about trying to create healthy habits for my oldest, who, you know, he is a big kid, he's strong, and it's like we want him to make sure that he stays healthy, and you know, he likes to eat cheeseburgers and French fries and some of that stuff, and it's like, listen, I've learned to just be like when it becomes important to him, he will change. You live that, yeah. You until it became important to you, you didn't change. And so, parents push your kids into things, help them get started in things. There's nothing wrong with that. Give them opportunities to make the right choices, but at the end of the day, you're not gonna force them long term into doing anything they don't want to do.
SPEAKER_00I you know, I I also like the fact that if you do give them options to do different things, like Hadley in in that instance where she's doing drama club and where she you can they they can make a they can make a conscious choice and you can see that conscious choice if they're always like you said with the baseball. If you just give them that opportunity, then it's easy to go along with that and and as a parent never recognize that maybe there's something else they're interested in. But if you juxtapose two things in front of them and you're like, okay, here are your options or three or four things, and they continually pick one over and over and over again, then maybe you can have a little more confidence that um that that it's something they like. Because I I find myself in that situation all the time as K run because I run because she knows I love it. Well, let's put soccer out here and let's put these uh basketball out here and let's see. And you know, when she comes to me at the beginning of the season from soccer, she's dad running's the priority and it's her call, then I feel a little bit better, although I still feel at times, and I constantly I'm self-checking, like, hey, don't force her into whatever because you're right. I think it has to be intrinsic at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_02And it's just but if she came to you and said, Soccer's more important, let's go. Yeah, you're gonna have to take that for face value. I want to make sure I'm clear that I'm not saying don't push your kids. Your kids need pushes, they need nudges, they need to show up to practice when this isn't a don't go to practice or games when they don't want to, because that that exists too within like we don't we don't play that game, like that's 100% not the game. Listen to your kids, they're smarter, they know they have great intuition. If you don't trust their intuition, then you probably haven't trusted why you've raised them and how how you've raised them. But they're gonna give you direction in that. Um and then just understand the commitments you've made. Like, don't sign up for three full-time seasons for the same kid. Like that's happened before. Like, I know people that have done that, and it's like you can't possibly commit. Like, we ran a basketball team recently, we only had eight kids because we didn't want to have to deal with all these subs. We had eight kids, and was like, if you're on this team, I need you to commit to be here because we do not have a ton of subs on purpose because we want to make sure the kids get a lot of playing time. And um, you know, other kids were in baseball and in travel soccer, and you know, we did pretty well, but like we up front said, don't play if you can't commit and miss and hit just about every single thing. So clear expectations from the coaching and from the the teams that that they're on. I would put all my kids in a league that allows them some some flexibility personally because I'm never going to take a soccer game over a family weekend um at the lake. I'm just not gonna do it. Yeah, so you I think you have to, as a family, also know what the priority is. Because we we blow entire weekends. Like if you think about it, this weekend alone, I took my son to Butler on Saturday. We pulled in the parking lot, game was canceled, didn't even have one. But I was three hours in the car all the way there, and plus like a half hour.
SPEAKER_00You guys were butler? What time?
SPEAKER_02We're supposed to play at 3 15.
SPEAKER_00Oh, the three, yeah. We we we played at nine, and we only got to play uh 25 minutes because they because the lightning.
SPEAKER_02We didn't even have lightning, and they didn't even notify us. So we played supposed to play at 3.15, we're all the way down there at Butler, hour and a half drive. And then today, my wife drives two and a half hours to a game. So, like arguably, our entire weekend was shot. It was a beautiful weekend. We could have gone to the lake and done family stuff, but because we have two games and we made commitments and we prioritized those commitments. So I don't know what all the answers are. What I do know is they're very personal by family, and back to circling your comment of like negativity around whether it's accomplishments or no accomplishments, or a perceived parent's goal as a father of three teenagers, I'm here to tell you that teenagers aren't doing things that they don't want to do long term. You can push them far enough unless you're a complete savage to your kids. It just isn't happening. And my intuition with the kids at my at the stages of life that they're in is that if someone's doing something and they're successful at it and they're really good at it, it's because they love it. And that's my disposition.
What Youth Soccer Gets Wrong
SPEAKER_00You know, it you you mentioned um the time commitment, and that reminded me of last weekend uh we were in Lawrence for two days, and it's the soccer fields for 17 hours and two days. Because what what they what they don't tell you is yes, your kid has a game at nine, but they have to be there 30 minutes ahead of time to warm up. And oh, by the way, it's a 30-minute drive to get there, so all of a sudden an hour game is two and a half hours with driving and warming up. Um, and we had seven games in two days. Uh and I wonder if there's I mean, this is kind of a really uh maybe that maybe we're too far off topic at this point in time, but like I was with an Uber driver when I was, I don't know what state I was in. I don't know, I was somewhere. And we were talking about his oh, he's in Boston, and he was telling me that his son, this guy has given up his life. I'm talking, moved to like, I don't know, four is as much as you can believe an Uber driver, and most of them you can, but like this guy had moved between like four or five different countries for his son's soccer career. Um, and had and it was a pretty in-depth story, so I'm I'm keen to believe it, but he made a comment, it's very interesting to me. He's like, you know, and it he's spot on. There is no other country in the world that has the number of youth soccer players that we do. None. And we are not even competitive on the not even close to competitive on a global scale. Like, what are we doing wrong? You know, is it just is it the money grab side of things? Is it the um, you know, we we were talking, he was talking about what has propelled his son was private coaching. And these clubs over there, they take it very seriously. So for 10 to 12 kids, there's three coaches. Where here, and in like what Miles does, there's three coaches for 40 kids. And like, like is it the economics of it that have put us in the position we are where like it's a joke?
SPEAKER_02It's a great question. I I would say if anyone had the economics to make it work, it would be Hamilton County. I mean, people you guys are paying a fortune down there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So is it is it but is it just take everybody's money and dilute the I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I'm just it's interesting because most of those are nonprofits. So I don't know. I'm sure it's building new fields, new facilities. I mean, pay for you know coaches and whatnot.
SPEAKER_00I it's interesting.
SPEAKER_02I it really is a fascinating topic. I mean, it it there's a place for youth sports, it's important, I think, in the development of a child to be a part of something to gain confidence in something. There was a quote I heard, I forget where it was, but it was like find something your kid is good at and make it important. And his thing is like, my kid was like 20th in the world at whatever, whatever sport, and he goes, What he didn't know is there's only 30 participants. Like, I mean, that's the thing. Like, find something your kid's good at, make it important so they can build confidence and they can find their thing that they're good at that gives them a sense of purpose.
SPEAKER_00That's a good thing to end on, I think.
Celebrate Wins And Give Encouragement
SPEAKER_02Well, uh, as we started with the indie mini and uh the phenomenon of the um World record by Ben Dick and a hundred and or at an hour and twenty minutes. Um, what an accomplishment. We should all celebrate that, uh, regardless of how he got there or how you think he got there. Um, but a lot has kind of unfolded around kids and sports, and and I think there's a lot there. It's it's stuff that we obviously struggle with within our kids and our families and our environments. Uh, you got to see both sides of it. There are things that require, I would say, a lot of commitment and some not as much, but I think ultimately we kind of landed on trust your kid, trust their instincts, and um make sure to expose them to a lot of stuff.
SPEAKER_00Well, and like you said, I think it's very important when you see somebody accomplish something like that, support them because you don't know what that means. You know, good jobbing them after I when I saw him at the at the soccer field, it was like, hey, dude, Ben. And he didn't, I said, Ben, great job last Saturday. You know, like do that because you never know what it's going to mean to a kid. And and I'm sure all of us remember those moments where another adult congratulated us at a sporting event when we were kids, and we can remember that vividly, versus somebody side eyeing you because of whatever hang up they have.
SPEAKER_02So, yeah. Support and courage. We'll see you next time. Thanks.